winstonstonastona: Telling my toddler about the new baby

Three Into Four: Little lady The paraphernalia required to be a 'lady' just like D

With D-day now imminent (how terrifying!), I have been talking to my toddler about the new baby more and more, discussing what will change and what Diana will get to do with her new baby sister.

When I asked her what she wanted to teach the new arrival the other week, D looked at me and replied, ever so sweetly:

My heart melted with delight. Of course, D's definition of being a 'lady' is loose ? she loves to giggle as she grabs onto people's bottoms, has a penchant for drinking her milk using the classy technique of dipping her hand into the cup and then loudly sucking her fingers and her culinary efforts of late include dipping everything from pasta to salmon into her glass of water before eating ? but D seems genuinely excited about imparting all of her knowledge to her little sister.

Although, if it involves D teaching new babe her latest technique of getting out of the naughty corner - strut out of it within seconds of being put there, brush my cheek with her hand and whisper in my ear: 'I missed you SO much' before resuming her playing/eating/running around, which left me so taken aback that I could only stare at D in awe - I am in serious trouble.

I am feeling very conscious that these last several weeks before I give birth are especially precious because all of the special moments that I have with Diana now - the baths where we draw hearts on each other in coloured crayons, our multiple story sessions, cuddling up under the covers together - will still exist, but differently. And with another person involved.

To ease the transition, we've been reading lots of books about new arrivals and second babies, taking D's baby dolls in the baby buggy everywhere with us, going to midwife appointments together and spending some time with friends' newborns, so Diana gets some exposure to very young infants (She absolutely adores them. Hopefully that will translate even when one is taking time and attention away from her).

And we've been chatting, lots, about how D will be a big sister and will be able to help out with the baby, whether that involves giving her a cuddle or singing her a song. D seems most interested in teaching her sibling about Bolshy the bulldog, who used to boss her about as an infant but now spends his days being happily bullied by his younger sister.
Which got me thinking: I've been fretting about how my daughter will respond to the new arrival, but what about the real lord of the house? How is Bolshy going to cope with another baby who will soon be pulling his ears and screaming his name?

And, more crucially, how am I going to kick this kid out of my bed ? which he's adopted as his own in recent months ? to make room for baby number two?

<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/New-Baby-Usborne-First-Experiences/dp/0746066651/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351516699&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">The New Baby</a> by Anna Civardi and Stephen Cartwright (Usborne). This book features the rather traditional Bunn family, which consists of Mr and Mrs Bunn, five- year-old Lucy and three-year-old Tom. Mrs Bunn is expecting a new baby and this book helps introduce children to what might happen when she goes into labour, is at the hospital and when she comes home. It would be ideal for families expecting number three.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-House-Inside-My-Mummy/dp/1408315882/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351516407&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">There’s a house inside my mummy</a> by Giles Andreae and Vanessa Cabban (Orchard). When I asked friends with more than one child which book they’d recommend on this subject, the one that came up time and again was this one. I remain unconvinced by the description of the door to mummy being rather tight, but children, and other parents, like this rhyming story lots and it does well at getting across to toddlers the less nice bits of pregnancy, such as exhaustion and sickness.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Miffy-New-Baby-Dick-Bruna/dp/1405219033/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351522920&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">Miffy and the new baby</a> by Dick Bruna (Egmont) Like all of the Miffy books, the words (in the English translation at least) are faintly ridiculous, the rhymes dubious and the story rather odd. But the pictures, as ever, are endearing and toddlers seem to love it and Miffy takes the arrival of a baby bunny with good grace.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/My-New-Baby-Rachel-Fuller/dp/1846432766/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351523092&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">My New Baby</a> by Rachel Fuller (Child’s Play).  Really a set of four, consisting of Waiting for Baby, My New Baby, You and Me and Look at Me, these books work together or separately to spark conversations about the new baby. With simple to understand pictures and questions to spark discussion, they are an ideal book for sharing and getting very young children used to the idea of a new baby.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Our-Baby-Inside-Mick-Manning/dp/0749686715/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351523142&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">Our Baby Inside!</a> By Mick Manning and Brita Granstrom (Franklin Watts).  Aimed at children aged five to nine, helps children get to grips with what is actually happening inside their mum as the new baby grows, with plenty of factual information and accessible illustrations, it’s an ideal introduction to the science behind how babies are made and what happens in the womb, with flaps to lift and plenty of facts to keep children interested.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sophie-Baby-Anholt-Family-Favourites/dp/1408302136/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351516338&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">Sophie and the new baby</a> by Catherine Anholt and Laurence Anholt (Orchard). The Anholts’ books are my absolute favourites when it comes to illustrations, and this book for slightly older children (it’s ideal for three to five-year-olds) looks at what happens when a new baby arrives one winter. Sophie experiences jealousy, but by spring she’s grown to love her new brother so much she offers him her most prized possession.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spike-Enson-Malaika-Rose-Stanley/dp/1848530234/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351516730&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">Spike and Ali Enson</a> by Malaika Rose Stanley and Sarah Horne (Tamarin).  This lovely story with a twist at the end is ideal for children aged up to about nine. It tells the story of Spike and his new brother Ali, who may or may not be an alien – after all, his poos are bright green and he seems to have enchanted even the school bullies...
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Whats-Egg-Little-Karma-Wilson/dp/1847388221/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1351516588&sr=1-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">What’s in the Egg, Little Pip?</a> By Karma Wilson and Jane Chapman (Simon & Schuster). If human beings make the idea of a new baby a bit too odd, children might like to first explore the idea through the world of penguins. Pip, the Penguin’s parents, look after their egg all winter, even though that means there’s less room for Pip to snuggle under her mummy’s warm tummy. Pip can’t see what the fuss is about when it comes to the egg, until it finally cracks and Pip’s brother arrives to make their family ‘just right’.  Lovely for reading together from a young age but there’s enough of a story for children beginning to read alone too.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Whats-Your-Tummy-Mummy-Lloyd/dp/1843650916/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351516188&sr=8-1" target="_blank">What’s in your tummy mummy?</a> by Sam Lloyd (Pavilion). This beautifully illustrated lift-the-flap book looks at what might be growing in mummy’s ever increasing tummy. Is it a flea?  Could it be a chimpanzee? What about an octopus? It’s a baby of course, as we find out at the end. This is an ideal book for young toddlers who’ll find the idea of animals in mummy’s tummy even funnier than the truth.
<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Babys-Catalogue-Allan-Ahlberg/dp/0141343362/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351522793&sr=8-1&tag=aolpdishedit-21 " target="_blank">The baby’s catalogue</a> by Allan Ahlberg and Janet Ahlberg (Puffin).  Although not strictly about the arrival of a new baby, this book, which shows several different scenes under lots of headings such as mums, dads, accidents, gardens and breakfast, shows all the parts of a baby’s day, with lots to talk about for each one. It’s great as a first book for children who identify with the babies and as they grow it helps makes sense of what a new baby might do too.